Saturday, 9 November 2013

X Factor 2013 (9th November)

It's big band night. Dermot's wearing a bowler hat. I would suggest he finds a larger one - this one's somewhat perched on top of his head.

The judges enter to loud applause. Nicole is wearing an exceedingly yellow dress.

Abi Alton. That's Life.
Abi thinks that all her experience of gigging in pubs has helped her in the competition so far. She is very excited about performing with an orchestra tonight.
Abi's decided to swap her usual headband for a giant white flower. She's also ditched the glasses. It's all rather classy really. Unfortunately for Abi, she doesn't really have a big, powerful voice like other contestants on the show - she's better off when it's just her singing with a piano accompaniment.
Louis says it was a good song choice but that she got swamped by the big band. I agree - curses. Sharon expects more sassyness (my spell-check tries to tell me that 'sassyness' isn't a word. Silly spell-check, Mrs O. said it so it must be real). Gary says he worries about Abi but that he didn't need to. Nicole claims that Abi is sasstastic (again, spell-check takes issue).

Sam Bailey. New York.
Sam liked disco week (last week) but her highlight was getting a tweet from Michael Bolton. Seriously, she actually cried. Imagine what a wreck she'd be if he turned up at the door.
Bolton turns up at the door. Sam is a wreck.
Sam's absolutely got the voice for big band (I'm having to try really hard not to type 'big bang' - apologies if I fail at some point). Bloody hell she's got a pair of lungs on her. Bolton's bound to tweet her again after this performance.
Gary thinks Sam's vocal range gets bigger and bigger. Nicole says that it was exactly how the song should be sung. Louis says Sam is the one to beat in the competition. Sharon calls it stunning and says that Ozzy is watching and will be proud of them both.

Nicholas McDonald. Dream A Little Dream.
Nicholas is a little nervous about performing with a big band because 'they know what they're doing.' Bless, even Nicholas admits he's clueless.
Well if he didn't already have it, he's won the Mum vote - sensible suit, sensible hair, generally nice boy. The vocals are pretty much perfect - very nice, controlled performance. He should get through to next week easily enough.
Sharon thinks his hair is stunning and fabulous (it's just gelled - calm down). Gary says Nicholas is very consistent and reminds us he is 'only 16'. Nicole's full of praise. Louis claims that Nicholas didn't know the song when he told him he'd be singing it. I'm not surprised - he's a moron.

Nicole's family in the audience. Quite far back in the audience, so not very close family.

Luke Friend. Moondance.
Luke's rather surprised he's still in the competition. He went home this week, back to the place where he used to busk - outside Exeter Cathedral, which is exciting! (I went to uni there.)
For a second I think Luke's chopped all his hair off, but it's okay folks, the matted fur ball is still there (it's just tied up). The vocals are a little shaky at times. It sounds like he's rushing a bit, but he belts out some massive notes towards the end and the audience loves it.
Sharon thinks it's fabulous and gives him 110 for effort (does she get away with that one by not saying percent, Philly?) Gary was disappointed, I'd agree actually. He says the trick to big band music is being behind the music and that Luke was ahead of it all the way through. I keep saying it, but if they want me to judge this next year I could TOTALLY do it. Nicole agrees with Gary. Louis says that these people don't realise Luke was a busker in Devon. Well yes they do, Walsh, it was in his intro video.

Hannah Barrett. This Is A Man's World.
Hannah's been on vocal rest this week. This does not bode well for big band week.
Phew, vocal rest has been good for Hannah - she sounds fantastic as normal. She's another one who absolutely has a big band voice. It's so good it sounds like she's been performing in front of millions for years. 
Louis nit-picks about whether the song was big band. Sharon wants Hannah to smile because she's on the telly. Gary loves her voice. Nicole says Hannah was 'preaching' and 'owning' it while being cool as a cucumber.

Rough Copy. Hit The Road Jack.
Gary: "You're my best act by far. Oh, you're my only act."
RC: "AHAH AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH"
Geez, calm down. This week Gary took RC go-karting. He's got a lot of time on his hands now with only one group to mentor.
After a lame start with two members of the group starting in the audience, things pick up. It's not the best performance of the night, but neither is it the worst.
Nicole says that if RC isn't in the final three of the show ... and then doesn't finish the sentence so we're left wondering what will happen if they're not in the final. Sharon praises Gary for the fantastic arrangement of the song. Gary thanks them for a great performance.

Tamera Foster. Cry Me A River.
Tamera was apparently in the bottom two last week (I don't tend to watch the hour-long faff show that is the Sunday results programme), which is just ridiculous. Clearly Sam Callahan should be in the bottom two, with himself (sorry, I dislike him that much).
Bloody loud fireworks outside distract me from Tamera's performance so I'm a skip right ahead to judges' thoughts.
Louis thinks she's a diva. Sharon wants more passion from Tamera. Gary says we all take Tamera for granted. Nicole says the performance was mesmerising. 

Sam Callahan. Aint That A Kick In The Head.
Sam's starting to feel like Gary's punch bag. That's because you're not very good vocally, Callahan, and this is a singing competition.
I love this song. I am therefore apprehensive about Sam ruining it. The choreography's pretty good, the vocals are okay - they're certainly not great or anything approaching the original though. 
Sharon congratulates Sam for still being in the competition. Gary: "You looked like you had a good time up there, well done." End of Barlow critique because Barlow clearly doesn't want to be too negative this week. Dermot picks up on this and Gary offers nothing more. Hashtag awkward.

No flash vote, so that's the end of the show and, therefore, the bloglet. Byeeeee!

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