Saturday, 26 October 2013

X Factor 2013 (26th October)

This week's theme is movies. Why the crap has someone given Barlow a light saber?

Rough Copy. Everything I Do I Do It For You.
This week the X Factor finalists were invited to the Thor 2 premier. I expect we will be reminded of this fact a lot.
I suspect there was a good deal on dry ice machines. Their harmonies don't sound spot on tonight, but they're normally pretty perfect so maybe I just have high expectations.
Nicole thanks them and tells us that that's the way to kick off a show. Louis thinks they're like a UK version of Boyz II Men (that comparison was made last week, Walsh). Sharon says they're beyond where they should be at week 3. Gary likes that they focused on the vocals this week.

Sam Callahan. (Didn't recognise the song).
Sam was really really pleased with his performance last week. This week he is torso of the week in Heat magazine. He also got to go to the Thor 2 premier (told you so).
I just don't like him. He got a place in the finals because he's pretty, but I don't like his voice or his irritating smile, or the fact that he insists on wearing skinny jeans each week when they really don't suit him.
Sharon questions what film the song was from. Sam isn't really sure, so he looks like a bit of a plonker. Gary thinks it was a weak vocal performance. Nicole agrees with Gary. Louis says the audience loves it and that Sam works hard (translation: I also think it was a bit rubbish).

Hannah Barrett. Skyfall.
This week Hannah took Nicole to Greggs. For some bizarre reason Nicole ends up in a Greggs uniform, serving Hannah pasties. Apparently this is all good practise for a singing competition.
Good song choice! I can totally see Hannah doing a song for a Bond film in the future.
Louis tells Hannah she was born to sing. He gives her 10 out of 10. Sharon thinks Hannah has "so much" going on for her, she tells her it was magnificent. She gives her 30 out of 10. Gary says it was sensational and he doubts anyone will be able to beat her performance. Nicole says it made her want to "get up and dance and look stupid". She then tells herself to shut up.

Nicholas 'life confuses me' McDonald. Angel.
This week Nicholas has been learning how to use the washing machine and the iron. Do this lot ever do singing practise?
Either Nicholas has been taking fashion tips from Louis, or he ironed his own jacket because it's horrible. He sings the song well but I've spent so long being disgusted by the jacket that it's almost over and time for the judges' thoughts.
Sharon is full of praise (seriously there's too much for me to get it all typed down). Gary thinks it was another great vocal performance but he wants him to do something a little less serious. Nicole says that when Nicholas sings it brings her calm and peace. She also wants to go sailing with him. Well you can probably go next week, if you can fit it in between all the singing practise (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm).

Abi Alton. Moon River.
Abi states the bleeding obvious by admitting that last week wasn't her greatest. Abi and Nicole spent some time watching films (heaven forbid she actually PRACTISE SINGING). She also went to the Thor 2 premier. Of course she did.
Well phew, it's much better than last week. Mind you, my grammar song was a better vocal performance than last week (plug plug plug). Abi seems relieved to get through it.
Louis thinks she came back fighting. Sharon says Abi was very brave but says that people will put the kettle on while she's singing - she wants more charisma. Gary thinks it was too over-thought. Nicole gives praise but Abi's on the verge of tears because Osbourne basically called her dull.

Miss Dynamix. Dreams Can Come True.
MD are actually going to perform this week (yes, I know one of them is pregnant, but perhaps she shouldn't have continued with the competition this year if she was going to be heavily preggo by the end).
They sound pretty good together but I'm not sure about individually. By the key change I'm bored.
Nicole thinks it was an excellent song choice but she didn't like the vocals or energy. Louis advises them to spend more time in rehearsals and less time on twitter (meow). The audience isn't very quick to boo these comments, by the way. Sharon likes the song choice but thinks there's some connection missing. Gary thinks the critiques are a little unfair.

Sam Bailey. My Heart Will Go On.
You'll never guess what Sam's been up to this week! (I'm not typing it again.)
She nails it. Of course she does. I'd love her to win the whole thing but I don't think an over 25 has won since the first year (please do correct me if I'm wrong).
The applause goes on for a long time. Eventually Gary says Sam sang it better than Celine. Nicole describes it as 'machesticle' (the boobs are out, you see). Sharon hopes Simon Cowell is watching so he can give her a record deal right now.

Little Mix are taking time out of their busy schedule to be in the audience tonight. (Snarky snarky snarky.)

Kingsland Road. Pretty Woman.
KR want to get the emotion and passion from their 'save me' song last week into each performance.
They sound good. If I didn't dislike boy bands so much I'm sure they'd be a favourite.
Nicole thanks them but says that at times it's "raining a little bit of cheese". Louis thinks they have better hairdos than last week but he doesn't like the song choice. Sharon says they tick all the right boxes.

Luke Friend. Kiss From A Rose.
Luke's decided to call his supporters 'Friendies'. Lame.
I'm not convinced this will be a good song choice for him, but actually once he gets to the chorus it's pretty good. Yeah, I like it.
Sharon thinks Luke's got an edge and he's dirty. Gary says it was the surprise of the night. Nicole likes the song choice. Louis thinks it was Luke's most relaxed performance of the competition.

Tamera Foster. Listen.
This week Tamera got a makeover (she's now blonde, apart from really bad roots - is that fashionable now?)
It's always a little weird when they have to cut the song down drastically, so Tamera ends up at the huge notes rather quickly but it's faultless. Possibly the performance of the night.
Louis says she stole the show. Sharon thinks she is the quintessential popstar but she wants to hear more soul. Gary thinks it was too much like a Beyonce impression. Nicole defends her fiercely.

Thankfully the big storm outside refrains from interfering with the TV signal for just long enough for Dermot to announce that Miss Dynamix has lost the flash vote and will be in the sing off tomorrow.

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