Dancing on Ice 2012 (1)

So, for the next couple of months I will be exchanging my X Factor recapping hat for my Dancing on Ice one (rest assured, I do always wear a hat while writing these things).

[Just watching the end of the itv news and have decided that Nina Nannar is THE best name ever]

Oh I'd forgotten that macleans sponsors DOI. I do enjoy their odd sponsorship adverts.

The first VT reveals quite a few changes this year, my favourite of which being that Louie Spence is on the judging panel instead of Jason 'the hat' Gardiner.

The professional skaters kick things off with plenty of madness and dry ice - wacky costumes, people hanging upside down off a chandelier. You know, the usual.

One of the less exciting changes this year is that the role of Holly Willoughby will be played by Christine Bleakley. I don't like this change.

Just a quick reminder that, although there are 15 pairs, only 7 of them will be skating tonight. Fear not, it WILL finish before midnight.

While the 'celebrities' are introduced and try their hardest not to fall over, I would like to take a moment to consider why Jason isn't on the show this year. Maybe he's busy growing his hair ... or buying hats ... if anyone actually knows do get in touch. Much appreciated.

Ok, 20 minutes into the show and I think ... yes ... I think we're nearly ready to see one of the celebrities actually skate! Oh, no, we need another introduction to the judging panel. You've probably got time to make a cup of tea before we get started. Go on, I'll give you a shout when someone is ready to skate ...

...
...
...

Heidi and Andrei
Heidi is apparently scared of flying and when her skating partner lifts her up for the first time in training she thinks it feels like take off. I don't know what planes you've been in, Heidi, but I don't think the pilots are doing it right if take off is similar to being lifted 6ft off the floor.
It's a good first performance. She seems very nervous and there's a lot of Andrei carrying/dragging her around the rink but that's probably forgivable at this stage.
Judges' score: 12.5 (out of a possible 30)

Mark and FrankieYou know, Mark ... off of Sam and Mark. Ask your kids.
Unfortunately Mark immediately loses points because he has been partnered with Frankie, whom I dislike intensely. No real reason for my feelings towards her, I just find her irritating and shrew-like.
Skating to I'm Still Standing. Surely that's just asking for a tumble on the ice?
It's very, very slow but, judging by the excited faces he's pulling, Mark's enjoying himself.
After the performance, Tony Gubba, who is my absolute favourite commentator, pipes up with "Despite the go faster stripes on the costumes, most of that routine was in the slow lane." Word, Tony, word.
Judges' score: 8.0
Louie thinks that choreographically it was like dad-dancing and Robin wants Mark's feet to work as well as his face does.

Charlene and Matthew
Apparently she was in Dallas. Bit before my time I'm afraid.
Well, from first impressions Charlene seems very enthusiastic. I am hoping for good things.
I'm actually pretty impressed; Charlene seems fairly happy to skate without always holding onto Matthew.
Judges' score: 13.0
Robin thinks Charlene will be people's guilty pleasure over the next few weeks. I think that's a compliment?

Dinner time! This means I'm not really paying attention to Jorgie but everyone is very positive and she seems to be an early favourite. The judges give her a score of 18.5

Chemmy and Sean
Love this song (Raise Your Glass). I am not a fan of the orange costume with grass skirt. Clearly I'm not really paying much attention to the routine. It's ok. It's not the worst and not the best of this week. I'm more intrigued by the horrendous skiing accident she had a couple of years ago. Kudos for even agreeing to do this show because that fall looked NASTY.
Judges' score: 16.0

Andy and Maria
Andy is apparently a Blue Peter presenter.
Another good song! (Moves Like Jagger). I like this guy - he looks like he's having fun and is pretty smooth on the ice.
Tony describes it as, "foot-tappingly good." Well said, Gubba, I'd agree. Everyone is very happy he managed not to drop Maria.
Judges' score: 14.0 - not as good as I would have expected
Louie says there are moves but that they're a bit floppy, Katerina wants the moves to stay floppy. She has very nice hair ... how have I only just noticed this? It's amazing!

How many more to we have to go now? Just one more pair? Oh good.

Andy and Vicky
Andy seemingly can't do anything in training. I'm hoping for a Todd Carty 'disappearing' act during their performance. You know, it's not all that bad actually. Doesn't seem to be much skating for a while but it's alright. Bit dad-dancy but who doesn't love a bit of dad dancing? I think he'll be in for a few weeks.
Tony thinks he's a natural comic because, "You look at him and you want to laugh." Bit harsh, Gubba but that's why I love you.
Judges' score: 12.0

So the first Dancing on Ice of 2012 is over without anyone falling over! Not one person. I want my money back. Lines are now open if you want to vote.