A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time there was a girl called Becky. Becky had a sister and lots of friends whom she loved very much. They often did lots of fun things together, like singing and dancing and going to exciting places. Sometimes, when the singing and dancing happened, Becky and her friends would drink lots of falling down juice and be rather silly. Becky would look forward to these times very much.

One day a thought occured to Becky. Wouldn't it be nice if I could record some of the fun things we get up to? Then I could look back at the recordings and see my friends even when they weren't near! So Becky decided to save up her pocket money and buy herself a video camera.

Becky was very happy when she had saved enough money and finally found the camera that was just right for her. Unfortunately, it wasn't available in any of the shops near her, so Becky had to buy her camera off the internet and get it delivered to her house. She didn't mind this too much because she would only have to wait a few more days before she got her nice, red camera.

The nice people at the Yodel delivery service gave Becky a special code which would let her track where her parcel was. After a day or so, Becky used this special code and, what do you think? It said that her parcel was already out for delivery! Becky was very excited when she realised she would be getting her camera sooner than she had expected!

All day long Becky kept checking out the window to see if she could spot the delivery van on its way. After a while, the sky began to grow darker and Becky was a little disappointed. You see, it was getting near her bed time and she thought that she might have to wait until the next day to play with the camera. But she was still grateful to those nice people at Yodel for delivering her parcel earlier than she had expected.

A few hours later, and with still no sign of her parcel, Becky used the special code again. She saw that her camera had been taken back to the depot. Oh well, she thought to herself, if it had come today it would have been earlier than those people at Yodel told me, so I suppose I can't be too sad.

The next day, the special code told Becky that her camera was on its way again! Phew, she thought, it will arrive right on time and I'll be able to play with it today!

But can you guess what happened next, boys and girls? Yes, that's right, no parcels arrived all day. Becky was quite upset when the special code told her it had been taken back to the depot again!

Can you imagine how sad little Becky was when the same thing happened for another two days? I'm afraid she was a very sad little panda because she had been told three times that her camera would arrive 'today' and three times it had been taken back. Poor little Becky.

When it reached the end of the fifth business day (for that was when the day by which the camera should have been delivered), Becky wrote a message to the people at Yodel to ask them where her parcel was. The next day (which was a Friday) Becky got a message back from Yodel, saying that her parcel was on its way and would be with her by the end of the day. Becky was still a little annoyed that it hadn't arrived on time, but she was glad that she would finally get her camera.

All day long Becky kept an eye out the window for the delivery van. She'd had a message from Yodel promising that her camera would be with her that day, and she knew that a promise should never, ever be broken. When it got to the end of the day and the camera still hadn't arrived, Becky was very angry. She used the code again and saw that the parcel had been taken back to the depot again! She couldn't believe it. Those nasty people at Yodel had broken their promise and, because it was a weekend, Becky knew that she wouldn't get her parcel until Monday - 4 days after it should have been delivered!

Becky decided to write another message to Yodel to tell them just how disappointed in their service she was. Now, because she was rather (justifiably) angry at that time, Becky's message was not a particularly friendly one. She didn't use naughty words, but she did remind the people at Yodel that the journey of less than 20 miles between the depot and her house really should not take five days.

In response, Becky received a message from those wicked people at Yodel saying that they had not had her full address and that that was why they had been unable to deliver the camera. Becky, thoroughly pissed off that those useless people at Yodel had not bothered to get in contact with her in order to check the address, wrote another message (she was getting rather good at writing messages now). This time it was to the shop which she had ordered the camera from. She told them all about those evil people at Yodel and made a point of saying that if, when the camera did eventually arrive, there was a single scratch on it, she would happily march down to her local shop and make a great fuss until she was given a perfect replacement.

Soon, someone from Head Office gave Becky a call and explained that they had been in touch with those bastards at Yodel, who had told them the same thing they had told Becky - that they had been given an incomplete address. The nice person from Head Office then told Becky that, when the address had been checked, it turned out that it was exactly the one which Becky had given them and that there was actually nothing missing at all. This did nothing to cheer Becky's dark mood.

Unfortunately, there is not yet a happy ending to this tale as Becky is still without her camera after 7 days of those imbeciles at Yodel apparently attempting (and failing miserably) to deliver her parcel.

The moral of the story is simply this, boys and girls . Never use Yodel.